Outfit Details:
Kimono top/dress: Asos (similar)
necklace: Charming Charlies
shoes: Madden Girl via Nordstrom Rack
The bohemian lifestyle has always been a distant dream of mine. To travel from location to location, following your heart and wherever the wind takes you. However to live that life I would have to give up so much that I need to survive- structure and a steady schedule.
My schedule already is pretty varied, but I never take the time to wander or to take a spontaneous trip because I am too worried about missing out on work or ignoring that never ending to-do list.
Once in a while when I pop on a piece like this; colorful, free flowing and comfortable; I feel instantly relaxed and "zenned out". I feel that I can breathe and even if I don't drive anywhere relaxing, if I just step outside and appreciate the nature and space immediately around me then I can imagine even for a moment that I am living that "boho" dream. My mind and soul are at rest and my body starts to rejuvenate itself.
My body and soul are forever split between being a structured "boss lady" and a free spirited artist craving the unknown. When I sit and relax the two halves are able to co-mingle peacefully without forcing one or the other into submission. There is a definite necessity for both halves to exist in my body and soul, but I need to be true to myself and allow both to exist simultaneously so that I am not continually hiding half of my personality in order to blend in and become assimilated into every group I am present in.
My emotions want to rule my thoughts and by constantly locking them away they are becoming mingled with all of the emotions I absorb around me and I don't even know what I feel anymore. I need to get back to what truly drives me and react how I want to react and how my body needs to; instead of trapping it all away because of not wanting to lose control over myself or my emotions. Once they are out there and once I am able to let go it will allow me to become weightless and regain the ability to live without the constant burden of all of my negativity and overpowering structure.
Letting loose is necessary to truly live and to fully enjoy life instead of watching it go by. This will help me to become a stronger "boss lady" because I will be whole and not split between two worlds. I need to release the burdens of my heart and end the inner turmoil. Once this is achieved I know I will be able to view the world more openly and jump at opportunities instead of tip toe towards them.
I put this out there because maybe some of you have gone through this and need to know that you are not alone!
photos by Margaret Thombs
